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You need to Maintain your Makeup Skills after Retirement

Date: September 7, 2017

    OK - after you retire - you need to maintain your skills with makeup (so you can watch your face slowly disintegrate) - because you can have these things happen.

    You carefully put on makeup (foundation) and concealer and powder and check the whiteheads on your nose and tweeze out the wild hairs from your brows and nose - and add rouge and eyeliner - and mascara is last. 

    You are going to leave the damn house. You need to get cat litter and to make a grooming apt. For beagles and Summer. You need to charge the truck battery. You need to be seen in public and speak to a human.
 
    So one of four sets of lashes --- CLUMPS and dribbles under the lash onto your cheek. And you carefully go to rescue the smudge and you end up with a 1 inch blob of black mascara lower down on your cheek.

    So you get that off and repair the makeup on your cheek (remember the blush) and you try again - that lower left set of lashes - clumps worse and pastes themselves to your skin.

    So you go for the cold cream and remove the makeup under the left eye - carefully. Very carefully.

    Restart - foundation and concealer and powder and eyeliner and--- try mascara again. (Yes I do buy new every 3 months) - CLUMP again but not as bad.

    Back up - check it out. Remember you will be wearing glasses. 

    Finally. I won't scare anyone. Much. 

    Oh yes - remember to shave your upper lip. Check your chin for chin hairs which can pop out and be 2 inches long in the blink of an eye.

    Need a 15x mirror now.

    Last but not least - Remove hair curlers and comb as much hair as possible over your face. They are called bangs.

 


 

 

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